


The More You Give (the More You're Gonna Get)

by harriet_vane



Series: girl!direction porn with feelings [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, F/M, Genderswap, always a girl!Liam, always a girl!zayn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 10:44:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/709884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriet_vane/pseuds/harriet_vane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months later, Harry and Liam take a weekend away together. Things go well, and then they go badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The More You Give (the More You're Gonna Get)

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't have a [Torakowalski](http://archiveofourown.org/users/torakowalski) to fix your britpick mistakes, I highly recommend you get one. Thank you again. ♥
> 
> Please don't post this fic anywhere else, please don't distribute it anywhere, please don't put it on goodreads, and really really please don't link it to anyone being written about here. Thanks!

Liam wakes up ready to rush out and do things every morning, so Harry shouldn't be surprised. And yet somehow he is startled to open his eyes and find her already pulling on her jumper and scarf. He looks over at the clock by the bedside and it says barely six. There's jetlag to account for, but that ought to make her sleepy, not bounding around at the crack of dawn.

"God, what, no, why?" Harry groans. He reaches for her, with every intention of grabbing her and dragging her back in to the very large, very expensive bed they've got for the weekend. 

She knows that move, though, and is just out of reach. "I want to go snowboarding," she says. "You can sleep in. I'll come back and get you later."

"Why aren't you _tired_?" Harry asks. It's like she doesn't understand the point of a weekend getaway. "I'm sure I explained this. The point of this is for us to relax. Together. _In bed_." 

Somehow Liam manages to look disgruntled, as if this is the first time she's heard that plan. "The point of coming to a private ski chalet is to _sleep_?" Liam wrinkles up her nose. "I should have brought Louis. He'd be fun."

"Heyyyy," Harry objects, throwing a pillow at her.

Liam giggles. She's got a powder blue puffy jacket she bought just for the trip, and a big chunky scarf with animal patterns all over it in blue and white. It's disgusting how sexy she looks, all athletic and ready to go outside and ski. 

"But it's so warm and comfortable in here," Harry whines. "Liam, it's six. It's not even today yet."

"I don't want to waste any of our weekend," says Liam. "When are we going to get another weekend away? Together?" She sits on the edge of the bed and brushes her hand up and down his bare chest. "It took us _months_ to arrange this."

"I don't consider this wasting time," Harry says. He grabs her with both hands and drags her, shrieking with giggles, down on to the bed with him. "This was on my list, remember? Hot tubs and champagne and _sleeping in._ "

"I want to learn to snowboard," she says, almost pouting, but when he rolls them over so he can kiss her, she doesn't object. Why on earth did she put on all these layers of clothing? Harry wonders in annoyance. It makes sex so difficult.

"We can snowboard later, at a sane hour," Harry says. "I promise, okay? Right now why don't you take off some of these clothes — all of these clothes — and I'll show you how much fun sleeping in can be."

Liam wrinkles up her nose. "I suspect you have designs on my virtue, Harry Styles."

"Yes," says Harry, unwinding her scarf so he can mouth at her neck. It's amazing how well he can multitask when the prize is Liam, naked. He undoes the zip on her jacket with one hand and starts pulling it off with the other.

"If we do this now," says Liam, still frustratingly perky and not all melting into bed like she ought to be. Harry is _good_ at this, damn it. "Will you come snowboarding with me later?"

"If we do this now, I'll do anything you like later," says Harry. He pulls too hard at her jacket and nearly does something awful to the zip.

"I'm being pawed by a wild animal," Liam complains. She sits up and takes the jacket off herself, batting his hands away. "What if I just take my leggings off? We can have sex and I won't have to get all dressed again!"

"No," says Harry. "It's not a race. First I want to kiss you all over—"

"You've done that, like four times," Liam points out. "Remember? Niall walked in when we were in L.A. He couldn't decide if he was going to be sick, or high-five you."

Harry sits up and glares at her. She keeps a straight face for a minute, and then bursts into giggles. "I do want to snowboard," she says, pulling her top up. "If you don't take me, I'll call Louis to fly out. He'll be fun."

"You and Louis can have one of your stupid sporty dates any time," says Harry, trying to help her out of her leggings. They're so tight, they won't roll down properly, and Liam's knickers come down with them. Harry doesn't object to that at all. She's still trying to get the thermal top over her head; it's caught on her chin, and he takes advantage of that to get his mouth on the part of her he likes best. She makes a startled noise and falls back onto the pillows, pulling her top off entirely.

"Harry! Warn a girl — oh my _god_."

He likes her so much. He likes kissing her all over, and he likes making her shiver with anticipation, and he likes the way he has to really work at it, to make her lose her ridiculous focus on whatever she's on about that day. He likes the way she pushes her hips up shamelessly against his mouth, and the way she can't be bothered with romance, most of the time, because it's just a friendly shag between bandmates and she has other things to do. He likes the way she cries when she's homesick and her mum calls, and the way she keeps trying to steal the puppy Zayn got. 

It's been six months, and Harry's been waiting to feel less desperate to have her under his hands and under his mouth, but so far, every chance they get to sneak off together has been harder for him than the one before. Because he can't keep her all to himself, and he can't take her off somewhere on a yacht for a month and fuck her out of his system. They're always so busy, and outside the band they haven't really told anyone, because it's the only thing they get to keep to themselves. 

He's become an absolute expert on getting Liam off, and it only takes a couple of minutes with his mouth and his fingers before she's clenching around him, head thrown back and hands clenched in the sheets. Harry's dick has been hard the whole time. He can't be around her without getting hard, it's so embarrassing, Louis is forever taking the piss.

"Okay," says Liam, pink-cheeked. Her eyes are still closed. "That was fun. Now can we—"

"No," says Harry. She's teasing; he can tell because her chest is heaving a little bit. If she were really ready to go snowboarding, she'd have waited until she was composed again. "It's my turn, now. And we haven't got anywhere near the hot tub, yet, and we paid extra for the one on the patio, outside, looking over the mountains."

Liam cracks her eyes open. "You want to do that all this morning before we snowboard?"

"Liam, it's _six_. We could do all that, and eat breakfast, and take a nap, and still be out in the snow for an hour before lunch."

She giggles a little. "After all that, you'll be too tired to snowboard."

 _That's the general idea_ , Harry doesn't say. He runs his hands up and down her legs. She's still got leggings on one of them, so he pulls those off, and then slides his hands up over her hips, up her waist, up to where she's wearing a sports bra. "I thought Zayn got rid of all of these for me."

"Don't be silly. What else am I going to wear when we play football?" She rolls over a little, so he can undo the clasp at the back. He tosses it far from the bed. Maybe he'll accidentally lose all her skiing gear and they'll have to stay inside. 

"Play football naked," Harry says. He kisses her breast, working his mouth up and around to the nipple. He's very fond of her nipples.

"It would distract Louis awfully," Liam agrees.

Harry sits up to frown at her. "I changed my mind. Don't play football naked."

"What, you think I should only play football naked with _you_?" Liam teases. She reaches up for him and pulls him down into a kiss. She's really a very nice girl, when he can get her to focus on the important things, like sex. 

"How about a deal?" Harry asks. His voice has gone all growly and possessive and he can't stop rubbing his cock against her hip. "An hour in bed, an hour out to snowboard. Even Stevens."

Liam puts her hand on his cock and tightens her fingers around the base. "So if I want to snowboard for two hours, I should plan on spending two hours in bed with you?"

Harry has to close his eyes for a moment and think unsexy thoughts. Simon Cowell in a dress. That time he walked in on Niall wanking in the toilet. "Jesus, Liam," he says.

She giggles, and it makes every delicious inch of her press up into him. "Do you suppose room service will bring us condoms, if we run out?"

"Let's make it our goal to find out," says Harry.

He only manages to keep her in bed until eight; she's too excited to go out into the snow. It really would have been good to bring Louis along, and Harry makes himself a note. Next time, bring Louis and Eleanor, and Harry and Eleanor will sit around in the lodge, drinking, while Liam and Louis go out and fall over in the snow.

But this time there isn't any way to distract her, so Harry puts on his jacket and his hat and hums Kiss You all the way outside. Liam laughs and elbows him a little. She's hired an instructor to show her how to snowboard and he turns out to be quite a fit and handsome bloke called Hans, so Harry has to try and give snowboarding a proper go. Liam's a natural, of course; she's always good at sport. Harry falls on his arse in the snow more than he'd like, really, when Liam's smiling and laughing with Hans, who keeps offering to "really show her around the lodge." 

By the time Harry gets the trick of staying upright, Liam is already shooting past him and looking as if it's the best day of her life. Harry accidentally-on-purpose crashes into her and knocks them both into a snowbank. "Having fun?" he asks.

"It's amazing," says Liam. "I could do this all day." Her cheeks are pink and her fringe is curling up where it's got wet. 

"Another hour," says Harry. "And if Hans looks at you like that again, I'm going to punch him in the nose."

"Would you really?" asks Liam, delighted. "He's two of you. He'd pound you flat, but it's sweet of you to offer." She pushes him off and sits up, shaking snow out of her hair. For a minute she leans in, and he thinks he's going to get a kiss, but then she pulls back. "Two bandmates on holiday," she says, and nods at all the other people out on the slope. It's a private chalet, but there are other people around, and for the last year they haven't gone twenty-four hours without someone taking their picture. Harry wonders how people are going to react to pictures of the two of them alone together all weekend. He's worked so hard to keep rumors about him and Liam quiet, because normally every girl he looks at twice is ripped apart by the press and the fans. Liam gets enough attention all on her own. 

"Later," says Harry. "Actually, how about now? I'm cold, and we've got a hot tub."

"I've barely started!" Liam laughs, struggling to her feet. She thinks he's kidding, which is a bit disappointing. Maybe she'll tire herself out, Harry thinks hopefully, and they can spend all of Sunday in the hotel room.

In the meantime, Hans is giving Liam more than friendly looks as he helps her with her form. He keeps putting his hands on her hips to steady her, and Harry fumes a bit, but he can't yell _Hands off! She's mine,_ for several reasons. One, because Hans isn't meant to know that, and two, Liam would get cross. Three, it would be awfully hypocritical; when Harry's home and away from the band he goes out with girls, all sorts of girls. It's the best way to keep the thing with Liam quiet, and she hasn't said a word, bless her, although Louis occasionally gives Harry a look like he's being a bit of a knob about it.

Hans's hands get a bit tighter on Liam's hips and Harry's just about to say something, to really get a bit loud and shirty about it, but instead Liam elbows Hans quite sharply in the stomach. "Sorry," she says, with a smile and her big innocent eyes. "Watch your hands, mate."

"Right, of course," says Hans, and he doesn't sound offended, but if that ends up as a One Direction scandal in The Sun, Harry won't be shocked. 

Liam goes down the slope three times in the amount of time it takes Harry to stop falling over face-first into the snowdrifts. "Just one more!" she says cheerfully, and vanishes again. Harry shrugs and doesn't try to follow her, because he's a lot of things but he's not fantastically coordinated, and he's getting cold.

There are some little girls who spot him, and run over for autographs and pictures with their phones. Harry smiles and poses and asks them if they could hold off on putting them up on twitter until Monday. He suspects it won't work — sometimes Liam does that, and people actually wait, she's magic — but Harry always gets a bit more attention than he wants. The little girls have sisters and mums who come over after them, and Harry finds himself surrounded. He likes chatting to them better than he'd like breaking his neck on the slope anyway.

The next time Liam comes by, she stops and steps off her snowboard, squeezing her way through the little crowd Harry's got. He's been turning down hotel keys for a few minutes, which is a bit hilarious. He'll have to tell Niall and Louis; they'll find it really funny.

"Can't leave you alone for a minute," says Liam, putting her arm through his.

"Oh my god, two of you!" says one of the ladies, but her face says that maybe she was happier just to have Harry. "Harry, if you aren't busy later, there's going to be a party at ours..." 

Liam's arm gets the tiniest bit tighter around Harry's. "You're busy, aren't you?" she asks brightly. 

"Well, if you're out snowboarding..." Harry says with a lazy grin.

He's going to pay for that later, Liam's face promises. "No, I think we have things to do," she says, still smiling, but it's tight around her eyes.

If Harry had known that all he had to do to get her in bed was make her jealous, he'd have done it ages ago. "Oh, now that you mention it, I suppose I forgot the thing we were going to do," says Harry. The mums and sisters all groan. Liam poses for a couple of snaps with some of the littler girls and ignores the rather chilly looks she gets from the older ones. Normally it's Zayn who makes the female fans a bit jealous — they either love her or they hate her — but apparently when Liam so obviously cockblocks everyone, she gets a bit of resentment, too.

Liam pulls Harry along into the lodge. "I can't believe you. Were you going to sleep with all ten of them?"

"No," says Harry, enjoying himself. "I was going to choose one or two. Three at the limit."

She hits him, and not lightly. Harry always forgets how hard she can hit. "I don't mind, normally," she says, as they walk into the lobby. Someone takes their snowboards. Harry doesn't know what the staff does with them, but that's the sort of thing he pays for. "But it's a bit gross this weekend, when we're supposed to be..."

Harry shrugs and pulls his hat off. "You were busy, I was bored. And that Hans bloke had his hands all over you."

"I told him to stop, didn't I?" Liam asks. She stomps into the lift and glares at a waiter who tries to follow them in.

He can't believe she's actually jealous. It's adorable. "I wasn't going to do anything, really," says Harry. The doors slide shut and he leans in for a kiss.

Liam turns her face away. "I know."

"Well then... What, Liam?" He grabs her hand and squeezes, and despite two layers of gloves, she curls her fingers around his.

"I share you with the entire world all the time," Liam says, looking at her snow boots rather than at him. "I just... I had this silly idea I could have you all to myself for a while. But of course I can't. You're Harry Styles. It's fine, I just wish—"

"All yours," says Harry, putting his arm around her waist. "Just say the word, Liam."

"I don't want to stop you having a good time with whoever you want to have a good time with," she says. It's so stupid that Harry kisses her, pressing her back against the lift wall. She's cold but her mouth is warm, and Harry tangles their tongues together, kisses her until she subsides a bit.

The lift doors ding open. They've got a little security with them, just enough to stop Paul having a heart attack over the weekend, and Harry nods to their babysitters before he pulls Liam inside. He turns so he can pick her up with both arms, hands under her arse. This sort of thing calls for carrying her across the room like a cave man, although he's a bit sore from all the falling down.

"Since we started this," says Harry, knowing she'll know what 'this' is, "I've been too busy to fool around with anyone else. I don't want to, anyway. I know we haven't talked about it, but I think this should be official. Like, a thing."

"World famous pop stars don't do monogamy," says Liam, arms around his neck. 

He kisses her. "I'm a romantic."

"What if I meant me?" Liam asks. Harry squeezes her a little, and she giggles. "It'll be hard to keep under wraps, though, won't it? People will notice if you stop going out."

"So I'll go out, but you'll come with me. We'll be the new band bromance." He drops her on the bed and snow falls off her hat and jacket. They're going to need a new set of dry blankets later. "We can keep it secret, if you'd like."

"I think it'll be easier that way. At least for a while. I'm not ashamed of you or anything—"

Harry snorts and starts pulling his jacket off.

"—but imagine how awful it'd be if we broke up and we were in a band together and everyone knew. I can't be Taylor Swift or Gwen Stefani."

"Thank god for that," says Harry. He kicks his boots off and then his trousers and he's down to his pants while Liam's still fully dressed for skiing. "Will you hurry up and get naked, please?"

"Oh," says Liam. "Right." She pulls off her hat and shakes snow out of her hair, while Harry pulls off her boots. "Are you sure, Harry? I don't want you to think you have to, if you want to just keep shagging me. I'm okay with it, I just had a minute of jealousy."

"I don't want to share you," says Harry flatly. "I never let the other kids play with my toys when I was little. And I don't especially want to be shared."

Liam beams at him. "That's very sexy, Harry. Well done."

"I _am_ very sexy!" Harry objects. "Why do you keep forgetting that?"

"Maybe it was that farting contest you had with Louis," says Liam. "Or that time you and Niall did Jaeger shots until you were sick on the bus and I had to help Paul clean it up. Oh, or that time you had that bad burrito and you locked yourself in the toilet, and we had to—"

"Stop talking forever, please," says Harry, pulling her shirt off.

Liam giggles. "Can we try out the hot tub? My toes are completely numb."

" _Yes_ ," says Harry emphatically. "Finally, a good idea."

The hot tub is out on the porch, and there's a light snow flurry falling around them. There's a railing and they can see people going down the ski slopes far away, but they're tiny little blurs of color on the white mountainside. No one's close enough to see Harry groping Liam a bit, or Liam kissing him and putting her ice cold fingers on his cock, or the way her nipples have gone all hard in the cold air until Harry can't stop himself putting his mouth on them. 

When they finally get into the water Liam says, "This might not be entirely hygienic. What if someone else—" 

Harry kisses her and pushes her under the water, and she splashes him back, and then he slips his fingers into her and she rocks against them, while the hot jets of water massage their legs. They kiss lazily, taking turns pushing each other against the walls of the hot tub. Harry's fingers inside her are lazy, too, just rubbing enough to make her shiver and press into him, not nearly enough to get her off.

Liam makes a breathy little noise and drags her mouth across Harry's chin, teeth scraping over the stubble where he hasn't shaved because they're on holiday. It's not quite pleading, not yet, so Harry crooks his fingers and presses in harder and she whimpers again, nipples pressing against him, arms around his neck. 

"How you doing, babe?" Harry asks.

Liam hides her face in the crook of his neck. "Harry, c'mon," she says. Her hand finds his cock under the water. 

"We've got all night," says Harry. "All day tomorrow, too."

She pushes her hips against his hand harder. " _Harry._ "

"Isn't this better than snowboarding?" he asks. She bites his shoulder.

Harry laughs. She's willing to try anything during sex, which is fantastic, but he likes it when she gets needy and pushy and bossy. He likes a little biting and hair-pulling now and then.

Harry puts his free hand under her arse and turns them both around in the water so she's facing the wall and he's behind her. Then he scoots them over to one of the high-power jets of water, so it's hitting Liam just above where his fingers are. She holds on to the edge of the hot tub with both hands, making a gasping, approving little noise, and he puts one hand on her tit and pinches her nipple lightly, biting down on the curve of her neck, rocking his fingers faster.

Liam squirms and wiggles back against him, trying to press herself forward against the jet of water and back against his fingers at the same time. "It's not enough," Liam complains, voice breaking. Her bum pushing back against his cock is nearly enough for Harry, but he twists his fingers, presses in harder, uses his thumb on her clit gently. Her chest is heaving and she's thrown her head back, eyes closed. 

No one else gets to see Liam like this, Harry thinks. From now on this is just for him. It's so sexy that he has to muffle his own groan by putting his mouth on her shoulder again. He can shout it into her skin, make marks there with his teeth that will have faded by the time the band see them. Everything this weekend is only for the two of them, and it makes something heavy and hot twist inside Harry's chest.

She comes with a little shout and curls in on herself, collapsing against the side of the tub. Harry slides his fingers out and puts his arms around her waist instead, pulling them both farther down under the water until only their faces are still in the cold air. Liam is shaking a little bit, and Harry's starting to ache from wanting her. 

"Baby," says Harry. "You okay?" 

She turns around so she can kiss him again, arms around his neck. And then she grins — he can feel it against his mouth — and drags them both under the water, still kissing. It's wet and sloppy and Liam's hair gets loose under the water and wraps around Harry's face. Harry's mouth is full of water and Liam and bubbles. Harry pinches her arse and she wiggles against him and pulls them both back up. 

Harry flips his hair out of his face. Liam pushes hers back with both hands, blinking at him. "Tell me this is better than snowboarding," Harry says again.

"Ehhh," says Liam, tilting her hand back and forth. Water is dripping off her eyelashes and her nose and her boobs. Harry makes a huffy, offended noise, and she giggles.

"I'm going to fuck you," says Harry softly, "Until you can't remember the word 'snowboard.'"

She giggles again and bites her lip, but her eyes go straight to the water, where his cock is bobbing up and down. "That might take a while," she says.

"We should probably get started, then," Harry agrees.

Liam puts her hand on his hip and drags her fingers across the v there, down toward his dick. Harry bites back a groan. "Zayn told me to pack sexy lingerie," says Liam thoughtfully. "But I don't suppose there's any point in putting it on, is there?"

"Not right now, no," says Harry, catching her hand.

"What about lunch?" Liam's eyes are sparkling. Harry decides that they are never going home; they'll just stay here, like this, forever. It'll be an endless ski trip holiday. "I'm hungry from all that snowboarding. We should have someone bring us up some food."

"Stop getting distracted," Harry says. "We have a rota. A sex rota."

Liam bursts out laughing. "Lunch will give you energy to keep up with it," she says. 

"Liam, it's my turn," Harry whines, rocking his cock against her hip. It feels a little weird under the water. 

"A condom won't work in the water," Liam scolds. "And I'm not going to get up the duff because you're impatient." She steps out of the water and tries to pull him with her.

"Aren't you on the pill? C'mon, Liam. If we had a baby, it'd be adorable."

"No, it would be a monster, like you," says Liam fondly. "We can't have a baby; I can't even have a puppy. We paid for a nice big bed, Harry. Lunch, and we'll dry off. I bet I can blow you before anything can get here from the kitchen."

Harry perks up a bit at that. "I will take that bet."

"Yes," Liam laughs. "I'm sure you would. Come on." 

The air is freezing, now that Harry's got used to the hot tub, so he follows her inside quickly. "Food can wait until after blowjobs, right?" Harry asks hopefully, sliding the door shut.

"Food, blowjobs, more snowboarding," Liam says, ticking them off on her fingers. "Maybe a romantic night in with lingerie?"

"How about snowboarding with lingerie?" Harry asks.

Liam giggles at him. He doesn't see why; it would be amazing if he knew she were out on the slope being athletic and sexy and wearing something tiny and lacy underneath her bulky ski clothes. "Remember my list of sexy stuff to try?" Liam asks, as if Harry could ever forget. Liam bats her eyes a little. "Louis says I should add spanking to it."

All the blood in Harry's body goes immediately to his cock and he stumbles halfway through a step. Thank god they're already naked, Harry thinks, and launches himself at Liam, knocking her back onto the bed.

She laughs and pushes at him. "Not spanking _me,_ dummy. Spanking _you_."

Harry groans and hides his face against her chest, trying to breathe. His whole body is shuddering with every pulse of his heart. "Stop," Harry croaks. "Jesus Christ."

"Louis said you'd like that," says Liam smugly. Her skin is damp and it slides against Harry's with obscene noises. 

"Don't talk about me with Louis," Harry manages. His voice is shaking. He likes the idea of spanking a lot more than he thought he would; Liam's got big, soft hands, and she'd never hurt him, and it's so _so fucking hot_ when she takes charge during sex. He'd like to spank her, too, if he can talk her into it. Just a little, until she squeals and giggles and gets breathy, begging him to fuck her.

"You really like this idea," says Liam wonderingly. She rolls them over so she's on top. "Wow. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'm great," says Harry, gritting his teeth.

She giggles. "Blowjobs, _then_ food." She gives him one stinging slap on his hip, just enough to make Harry's heart stop and his whole body tense up with _what — really — now_ zinging through his chest. Then she crawls down the bed and takes him into her mouth.

There is no amount of thinking of footballers and the Queen that could stop Harry from coming almost immediately. He's been imagining sex with Liam all morning, and he's a teenager, for god's sake, and she _spanked him_ , sort of. He bucks up against her mouth and grunts and his fingers and toes go all white and sparkly and numb as he comes ridiculously hard.

Eventually he hears Liam say, "Oh, _Harry_ ," and feels the bed move around a little. She picks up the phone and starts talking to someone about burgers and chips, but he still feels like he's in outer space, so he doesn't try to open his eyes.

He might even doze off, because he hears her answer the door and sort of hopes she hasn't done it naked, but also hopes she hasn't got dressed, because as soon as he can move again, he's going to spank _her_ and see how _she_ likes it. He thinks she might enjoy it quite a bit.

"I got you a cheese burger," says Liam. "If you don't get up, I'm going to eat yours."

"Noooo," Harry moans, flailing an arm out.

"We have no time today for naps, Styles," says Liam cheerfully. "Lunch, snowboarding, maybe some more sex with lingerie, if you're good."

Harry cracks one eye open. Liam is sucking on her finger, trying to get the mayonnaise from her chips off it. He can't possibly be ready to have sex again, but oh god he'd like to try. "What if I'm bad?" Harry rasps.

Liam beams at him. "Well. That might be fun, too."

—

Harry had plans for dinner out at a fancy place nearby but they spend the afternoon on the slopes and then have dinner in their room. If they went out they couldn't have sex in the shower, Harry reasons, and missing out on whatever dress Zayn packed for Liam is worth that, at least.

He wakes up when she's in the shower in the morning, because his phone is buzzing its way across the table. Harry slaps at it, but it keeps buzzing and then beeping, and Liam's phone is buzzing and beeping in her suitcase, too.

Harry answers with a grumpy, "What?"

"Shit, Harry," says Louis, sounding panicked. "Shit, has anyone called Liam yet?"

Harry shakes his hair out of his eyes and sits up. "Did someone die? She's in the shower, I can go and get her." His heart hammers a little bit and he starts planning how he'll break bad news to Liam. 

"Worse than that. Well, not worse that that. Shit, Harry, she's going to be really upset, maybe it _is_ worse than that. PR have been trying to get you for an hour."

"We just woke up," says Harry. His stomach sinks. "Louis, what's going on?"

"It's... fuck, Harry, go to Oh No They Didn't on your phone."

 _That's_ dire. Harry puts Louis on speaker and opens up his browser, typing with fingers that feel fat and numb. The shower noises cut off and Harry can hear Liam humming to herself.

Harry stares at the screen for a long minute. "Oh, shit," he says.

"Yeah, fuck, I don't know what you're going to do, she's going to be so upset."

The flashing type at the top of the screen says 'ONE DIRECTION TOPLESS SNOW BUNNY BABE' and the picture underneath is blurry, but it's definitely Liam standing out on the porch. She's laughing and her hair is pulled back messily and she's looking down at someone but Harry is just out of the shot. It's so grainy, it must have been taken from a mile away. Harry scrolls down and there's another photo, and another. They only got her tits in a couple of them, but she's going to be fucking devastated. 

"You're awake!" Liam chirps, opening the bathroom door. She's got a towel on, and her hair pulled back, and she looks so beautiful. Harry feels like he's gong to be sick. "That's early."

"Lou called," says Harry. "Uh... Liam. We've got a problem."

"Hi, Liam!" Louis's tinny voice shouts. "We'll fix this, I swear we will. I'll kill every fucking pap in the world."

She frowns and tilts her head. "What happened?"

Harry can't think of anything to say. He doesn't want to dump this on her, but he can't think of a way to make it better, or to cushion the blow, so he just holds his phone out for her to see.

Louis is still shouting. "Don't worry, Liam! All of us here at 1DHQ are figuring out what to do, and the first person to call you a slag is going to be run over by Niall in his new car, I swear. Zayn's already offered to get caught naked herself, take some of the heat off—"

Liam takes Harry's phone and stares at it. She narrows her eyes, and for just a minute he can see her looking at it thoughtfully, mulling it over, trying to decide how to feel. 

And then she bites her lip and very carefully hands it back to him. Her face hasn't changed, but there's a little hitch in her breath as she says, "Oh."

Harry clicks his phone off without saying goodbye to Louis. He'll work it out himself and call back anyway. "Babe, I'm sorry," says Harry.

"That's all over the internet, yeah?" Liam asks, voice shaking. She brushes a tear off her cheek with one hand. 

"I suppose," says Harry. "I haven't looked. Shit, Liam. It can't be legal, they won't be allowed to publish them."

"They _have_ published them. My... My boobs are on the internet, everyone's going to see them, and — And — Harry, my _mum_." Her face crumples and she sits down on the bed and starts a proper cry.

Harry puts his arms around her, because he doesn't know what else to do. Liam crying is an awful, awful thing. 

She says something, but he doesn't know what it is. "I'm sorry," says Harry again.

She looks up at him with tears running down her face. He hasn't seen her cry like this since they all got cut on the X-Factor. "You aren't in them, right? You're okay?" Liam asks earnestly. "It shouldn't ruin your weekend, too."

"I wish I were in them," says Harry. "If they had shots of my dick, they might ignore you a bit." He tightens his arms around her. She's so sweet, he can't stand it. 

"Everyone's got pictures of your dick," Liam says, trying to laugh while she cries. "Who cares about those?"

Harry kisses the top of her head. "This was supposed to be a nice weekend away, I'm so sorry, babe. Honest."

"I don't care, it's fine," says Liam, wiping tears away again. "It's just... All the boys at school who called me names, and all those girls who — who — and how am I supposed to go outside when everyone's seen me naked? And my parents are going to be so disappointed, and I _tried so hard_ , and—" She trails off into crying again. 

Harry hugs her as long as she'll let him, and then she says, "I'm going to go and take another bath," and goes into the bathroom, presumably to cry. 

Harry calls downstairs and orders them a bottle of champagne because he needs a drink. And then he calls Louis back, because someone's got to handle this situation. "Okay," says Louis. "No paper in England's going to publish them because we've got all our people already suing the shit out of them for even thinking about it. But it'll probably be 'Liam's Sexy Weekend Away' shit with a big black bar over her tits on the front page of all the fucking websites and there isn't a lot we can do about that. I think Zayn's having some kind of rage stroke. And Niall nearly broke his hand punching the wall, earlier, like, I don't know how anyone could do that to Liam."

"Liam's gorgeous," says Harry. "I suppose I see why people would want to see her naked."

"But not in a disgusting way, like this," says Louis. "The pictures exist, we can't erase them from the world, but I swear if one fucking headline says Liam's slutting around at a ski resort, I will set fire to the entire world."

A tiny glimmer of an idea occurs to Harry. "What if it's not her slutting around in a hot tub, though? What if... What if it's a romantic anniversary and it got interrupted?"

"She's still gonna be naked all over the internet," says Louis.

"Shut up, go and tell the PR people to call me in a little while. I'm going to go and try to talk to Liam. She's sobbing in the bath at the moment."

"How's it going to be an _anniversary_ , Harry? What are you on about? Tell Liam we'll punch anyone she'd like—"

Harry flips his phone off and tosses it onto the bed. Then he pulls on pants, because it feels weirdly presumptive to go and talk to Liam naked, at the moment. He brings a dressing gown for Liam, just in case.

"Hello?" Harry says, knocking on the door. 

"I'm going to drown myself in this bath," Liam says miserably.

Harry takes that as an invitation. Liam's sat in the tub with her knees drawn up and her arms around them, and she makes a half-hearted effort to splash the water around a little. Her eyes are all red and puffy and her hair has slipped out of its holder and is falling down around her face in a frizzy, curly mess.

Harry sits down on the floor next to her. "Please don't drown yourself."

"What else am I going to do?" Liam groans, and slips down under the water. After a minute she comes back up, shaking water out of her eyes. "I mean, I suppose not that. Kate didn't drown herself."

"You and Kate should have tea and talk about what bastards the paparazzi are. Louis's offered to punch anyone you'd like, and he says Zayn's having a rage blackout or something."

Liam giggles quietly. "That's nice."

"She's offered to walk around starkers, if it'll help take some attention off you," Harry goes on.

"No," says Liam, wrinkling up her nose. "I don't want anyone else to feel like this."

"We love you," says Harry, putting his hand on her shoulder. "If we can do anything to make you feel better, we will."

"My boobs are on the internet, Harry. No one can make this any better." She gives him a watery smile. Harry isn't sure if she's crying or if it's water from the bath dripping down her face. 

Harry would do anything to make this go away, and he can't, and he wants to punch someone or burst into tears himself, but that won't help Liam. He squeezes her shoulder and she puts her face in her hands and starts to cry again. She mumbles something that's half into the water and entirely muffled.

"What?" Harry says, leaning in.

"I just wish they were _better_ ," Liam says, hiccupping a little.

"The... pictures?" Harry hazards. "I'm glad they're blurry, no one's got a good shot of anything really important. I hope the load of them go blind trying to see."

"No, my boobs," says Liam. "I wish they were bigger. All the boys at school called me flat and now they're going to say they were _right_. Oh, I wish I looked like Zayn."

Harry prides himself on understanding most of the crazy things Liam says, but this is well out of his depth. "They're great?" he says, in case that's what he's supposed to be saying.

"Everyone in the world is going to make fun of my boobs; I wish I were dead," says Liam, trying to sink under the water again.

"C'mon, come out of the bath, I'll get you some tea and a big bottle of... Of whiskey or something, okay?" Harry says. Liam sniffles again. "I have an idea about how to make this a little bit better."

"Does it involve throwing myself off the balcony?" Liam asks, letting Harry pull her to her feet. She puts on the dressing gown, which he thinks is sort of a shame, but if he were her he'd probably never be naked again, ever. 

Harry gives her a hug. "It involves kissing me a lot."

"Ugh, of _course_ it does."

"No, I mean, not just — I mean, they're all going to be talking shit about your sexy weekend orgy or whatever, right?"

She's wavering on the edge of crying again. "Everyone's going to think I'm such a slag—"

"But you aren't, you're with me. It's our anniversary. We're having a romantic weekend away."

Liam blinks at him for a minute. "That's silly," she says. "And it doesn't change the fact that my naked picture is being passed around like I'm a porn star or something."

"It doesn't change it, but..." Harry fishes for words, flapping his hand around a bit. He walks Liam out to the bed so they can have a proper cuddle. "But if the pictures are of you and me kissing and skiing and having dinner together, we can make the headlines about how those bastards interrupted our holiday. They'll be much more interested in that. Half the internet will blow up if I'm on a romantic trip with anyone but Louis."

Liam giggles half-heartedly. "But it won't get rid of these pictures."

"Everyone likes you," Harry says. "You're the only one in the band who's never got bored and thrown things at a reporter. Give them something nice to say about you, and the articles will all be about how you're the victim of a horrible invasion of privacy."

"That's really cynical of you," says Liam admiringly. "But we just decided _not_ to tell everyone our business. And this'll ruin it, and every time you talk to someone, it'll be about how you're cheating on me, boo hoo, and you'll get slagged off in the press, and—"

"They're gonna do that anyway. I don't mind if everyone thinks I'm dating you. You're well fit, Liam, and you're funny and sweet and my mum'll be _chuffed_. Imagine the hilarious stories about how you're 'taming' me."

She giggles into his shoulder, almost a real laugh this time. "Imagine when you tell them it's all just that I had a list of dirty sex things I wanted to try."

"Yeah, I think we'll keep that between us, thanks," says Harry. "It's a proper relationship now, anyway. How _dare_ they interrupt our anniversary?"

"You keep saying that," says Liam, poking him gently in the side. "Anniversary."

"It's six months yesterday since you were wearing my jumper on the bus and we decided to give it a go," says Harry.

Liam sits up and stares at him. "It was never six months since then."

"It was, I know exactly, because it was the day before I got my tattoo with Gemma's name." 

"And you _remember_ that?" Liam asks.

Harry can't help rolling his eyes. "No, Liam, I shag people in the band all the time, you're the seventeenth notch in the wall in my bunk, yawn, how dull."

"Hey!" She laughs and smacks at him.

"Of course I remember. My feelings are a little hurt that you don't," says Harry. He's joking, except he's not; he's a bit upset that Liam hasn't been keeping track of the weeks like he has.

"Oh, Harry," says Liam. She pulls him into a kiss, really just a brush of her mouth across his cheek and the corner of his lips. She's so gentle and quiet about it, and Liam's never like that; she's all smiles and giggles and pushing and silliness. He doesn't like the quietness, but he appreciates having her trust.

"How about we order breakfast and a load of champagne and get absolutely shitfaced?" says Harry. "And then we'll snowboard for a while. I won't wear a hat; everyone'll see it's me. And then lunch, as if we didn't see those pictures this morning, and then at least it'll be _our_ sexy weekend holiday, not just yours."

Liam runs her fingers and back and forth up his arm. "But what if I never want to go outside again?" she asks. 

"I'd understand," Harry says.

She holds on to his arm for a little while, leaning into him, and he tries to be still and strong and other boyfriendly sorts of things. He's never seen Liam cry for this long before, and it's unnerving. She smiles through _everything_ , no matter how shit touring gets, or if her kidney hurts, or if she's homesick. Harry's the baby of the band, he's used to everyone looking out for him. Trying to look out for Liam is a strange new feeling. His chest still feels weird and heavy.

"I need to call my parents," Liam says finally. "They won't understand why... They're going to be really upset. And then yeah, we should have all the champagne we can possibly have and still stay upright. Maybe I'll get lucky and fall off a cliff—"

"Stop it, seriously," Harry says.

"I don't want to ever go out of this room again," says Liam, hiding her face in his shoulder.

Harry squeezes her hand. "Well, if you have to go out, at least you aren't on your own, right?"

"Do your awful lines work on other girls?" Liam mumbles, squeezing his hand in return.

Harry thinks about pointing out that he's just agreed not to try and pull any other girls, but Liam's not in the right mood for it. 

When the kitchen brings food up, Liam stares at the floor and won't even look at the people who've brought it. Harry feels a bit sick. "They probably haven't seen it," he says quietly, but she just shrugs and pulls her shoulders up a little bit higher. He tries to get her to eat something, and she gives it a go, but mostly she pushes the food around with her fork and stares off into space. 

"Champagne," says Harry firmly. "And call your mum, and then we're going snowboarding. You love snowboarding." He presses a glass into her hand and tries to give her a stern look. She giggles at him, though, so maybe it didn't work. She drinks it and then goes into the bathroom with her phone, and he can hear her crying through the door but there isn't a lot he can do about that.

Harry takes a couple of calls from their management and PR people, just enough to hear that the whole thing is blowing up. Harry tells them that actually it's him and Liam on a romantic weekend away and there's a lot of pauses and throat-clearing and vaguely skeptical, "But won't it be hard on the band to pretend about that for long?"

"It's not _pretending_ ," says Harry, feeling a little cross. They don't really believe him, which is annoying. But they agree to that spin on the story, so long as he and Liam get caught cuddling while they're away, and Harry thinks a lot of really dark and cynical thoughts about what it means to be in love and famous, and hangs up.

"My mum is... not thrilled," says Liam, coming out of the bathroom. Her eyes are all red but she's tried to put on some makeup. "She says hello, though, and that she's pleased for us. Then she cried a bit."

"Drink more," says Harry.

Liam takes the bottle of champagne and takes a long drink straight from it. Then she coughs and sputters. Harry pats her back. "I can't just go out there and have people look at me," says Liam. 

"They'll be looking at _us_ ," says Harry.

"Oh, but..." Liam goes pink. "They'll know we're having sex, Harry."

"Two attractive young people are having sex, stop the presses," says Harry. 

Liam laughs a little. "I suppose it'll stop all the stupid stories about how I'm secretly a virgin."

"That would be nice," says Harry. "All you have to do is go snowboarding and kiss me a bit. And if anyone looks at you, let me know. I'll fall over on 'em."

"Such a gentleman," says Liam. She puts her shoulders back and nods. "Okay, I finished the bottle. I suppose we should go."

"Hey," says Harry, and then can't think of anything really profound and comforting to say, so he kisses her instead. It's the slowest, gentlest kiss he can manage, the most tentative he's been about kissing her ever, maybe. There's a lot of potential for this to screw up their relationship, and that would be really upsetting. Harry's got used to Liam, and he feels crazy about her, but he doesn't want her to think she has to pretend to like him because it's the only way to protect herself. 

Liam just stands there for a long minute. It's quite discouraging. And then she kisses him back, just as tentatively, as if she's apologizing for something. Harry presses his fingers into her waist, wishing he could keep his hands there all day, protecting her.

"I'm okay," says Liam quietly. She's lying, but he wouldn't dream of pushing her on it. "Let's go snowboarding. That's why we came out this weekend."

"It's not why _I_ came out this weekend," Harry grumbles, and Liam laughs. It's so very nearly normal.

When they get outside, Liam is unusually clingy, hands on Harry's arms like she's worried she'll fall over by herself. She keeps her chin up but she can't stop biting her lip, and she won't look directly at anyone. "Show me how to do this," says Harry. He's getting a few stares, and he can't tell if it's just people recognizing him, or people who might have seen the internet this morning. Surely those articles haven't been up long enough for anyone to have read them and also be out skiing. But he's worried, and the breakfast he managed to choke down is rolling around in his stomach.

"Okay," says Liam. Her eyes light up a little. "Your problem is you've got those awful knock knees. How can you balance and stay upright with those silly little legs?"

"Heyyyy," Harry pretends to protest, and she flashes him a grin. She helps him find his balance and then pushes him into the snowbank, laughing. Harry throws a snowball at her and she throws one back. She's got a much better arm than he has, and he has to shake snow out of his curls for a minute. 

"Maybe I'll go down the hill and meet you back up here," says Liam.

"Don't leave me alone," Harry complains. "It's cold out here without a hat."

"You should have brought one," Liam scolds, and he leans over and kisses her. It's the first time he's kissed her in public like this, and maybe no one's watching, but maybe loads of people are watching. Harry feels a tremendous amount of pressure to get it right. It needs to be romantic without seeming overly sexual, and it needs to be cute without looking fake. It's easy to kiss Liam, but it's hard to kiss her _correctly_.

Her mouth is stiff under his, and she pulls back more quickly than usual. "This is weird."

Harry shakes his head, because he refuses to let this be weird. "It's just us," he insists. "You've got some..."

"What?" Liam asks, brushing hair out of her face.

"Snowflakes in your eyelashes," says Harry, because she has, and she looks up as if she can see them. He laughs and kisses her again, and it's easier this time, with his arm round her waist and that silly expression she's got on her face. She wrinkles up her nose but she kisses him back.

"I want to snowboard," Liam says, wiggling away from him. "No one's watching us, anyway."

"It's practice-kissing," Harry says. "Let's keep doing it."

For the first time all morning, Liam looks a bit excited. It's so normal for her, that Harry hadn't even realized it was gone. "I tell you what," she says. "You meet me at the bottom of the hill and we can try again." And then she takes off, laughing, and Harry has to struggle to find his balance when he's got a bit of a boner and his ears are too cold, so he can get to the bottom of the slope and catch her.

—

Lunch is fraught. They're normally pretty careful about going places where they won't get their pictures taken, so they have to strike a balance between getting caught and looking like they don't want to get caught. Liam's pale and quiet and she puts on a huge bulky jumper that doesn't look out of place on a winter holiday, but still makes Harry cross with the world.

"Fuck 'em," he says quietly to her. "You should be able to go wherever you'd like and fuck whoever you'd like and no one should make a big deal of it."

Liam is pink. "But that's not reality, is it?" The maître d' is fussing around setting up a table for them, and they're alone in the entrance to the restaurant. Liam won't uncross her arms, so Harry puts an arm around her waist. 

"It's not fair on you," says Harry. 

Liam makes a sad noise and hides her face in his shoulder. Harry kisses the top of her head and makes himself promises that when they get back to London he's going to hide her away in his flat and never let anyone upset her again.

Liam's phone buzzes and she pulls it out. "Oh god, Louis," she says fondly. Harry nudges her with his fingers until she shows him the phone.

_@Louis_Tomlinson it's a fucking shame people can't go on a romantic holiday without everyone bothering them_

"That's nice," says Harry. "And he's right; it _is_ a shame." 

"I feel like everyone's looking at me," says Liam.

Harry doesn't know what to say. "They are. But I mean, they always are, right? It's us. We're famous. The perverts were probably always imagining you and Zayn naked."

"But now they've _seen._ I don't even like _you_ to see me naked sometimes," says Liam, muffled into his shoulder.

Harry doesn't have a lot of violent thoughts, as a rule, so he's not sure what to do with all these angry feelings. He tilts Liam's face up and kisses her, a reassuring sort of kiss, he hopes. 

"Everyone bloody judging me because I'm supposed to be the nice one," says Liam.

"You can be nice and still have loads of sex," says Harry. "I'm gonna tweet about that." 

Liam giggles. "Everyone's not like you, though. They don't think like you."

"Well, they should do," says Harry. "Come on. Let's have lunch and drink too much so we can sleep through the flight home."

Her smile fades again. "Heathrow is going to be a nightmare, isn't it?"

"It always is, a bit, but I bet Paul's furious," says Harry. "So he'll. Y'know. Handle it."

"I just feel so stupid," says Liam. 

The maître d' comes over with a load of apologies for the wait and leads them to a table that's off by itself, looking out over the snow covered mountains. It's beautiful, and no one can bother them there, but Harry's seen a couple of people turn and look at them already. It's strange, hoping someone'll catch a picture on their phone and upload it to twitter. Of course, unless it's a photo of them actually kissing, people will say it's just One Direction being themselves.

"Why do you and Louis have to sneak away for all your stupid recces?" Harry grumbles. 

"Because it's fun," says Liam. "Why?"

"It just makes it harder to make it clear this is a romantic weekend away, is all," says Harry. "When you two go off and ride bikes and buy robots together."

Liam scoots her chair closer. "Aww, are you jealous?" she asks. "We don't do this, though." She leans up and kisses him. 

It's still a bit tentative, but Harry'll take it. "That helps a little," says Harry. "But you should probably show me again, just to be sure."

The waiter brings over a bottle of wine they didn't even ask for. Harry waves a thank you, because he tries to be polite, but he's not going to stop kissing Liam for anything. He loves her lower lip, he loves her pout, and he loves the tiny enthusiastic noises she makes when she kisses. They haven't kissed in public, but now that they've decided to, it's all Harry wants to do, forever. It's not just that he wants to put his hands all over Liam and shout _MINE MINE MINE_. He wants everyone to see that he's taken, too. It'll drive them crazy, and Harry enjoys that.

Liam spends all of lunch vacillating between normal, and moments when Harry can see her remember what's happened and the sparkle fades out of her eyes and she goes quiet. She's got quite a serious face when she isn't happy, and it worries Harry. He pours her more wine and squeezes her knee. She flashes him a little smile but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Oh, Louis got into it with someone," says Harry, frowning at his phone. "He's giving them a right telling off for using that picture of you as their twitter icon and then tweeting at him."

"Is he getting himself in trouble?" Liam asks.

"Er," says Harry. "Not sure he should have said 'you can fuck right off' but it's Louis." 

Liam shrugs a shoulder. "He can say what he likes." A hint of bitterness creeps into her voice and she folds the serviette up and rolls it between her fingers. "Not me. If this were Niall we'd just laugh it off, right? But we can't, because I'm not that sort of girl."

"Niall's not any sort of girl. You do what you like," says Harry. "If you want to walk around naked, that's your right, and you're still a good girl."

"It's different for girls, you don't understand," says Liam sadly.

A waiter has been staring at them, and when Harry leans into Liam's space, the waiter nearly drops his plates. He's going to get in trouble for staring so blatantly, Harry thinks, and hopes no one gets sacked over this. "You're a pop star and a trailblazer," says Harry. "Think of all the girls who love us, right? And maybe one of them took a picture for her boyfriend that's a bit dirty, and he showed it to all his mates, and everyone at her school's being really awful now. She's gonna see this and see that you don't care, and she's gonna feel a bit better."

Liam perks up a little at that. She always loves being a good role model. "I need to act as if it doesn't bother me for all the other girls getting this shit," she echoes. "That... That makes sense. Oh, but Harry, it _does_ bother me." 

"Of course it does," says Harry. "Because you're a _person_."

Liam tries to laugh and sniffle sadly at the same time. She nods, though, as if Harry's finally making sense. "I can try," she says. "Okay, that makes me feel a bit better. Thanks, Harry." She leans in and kisses him chastely, just a soft press of her mouth against his.

The waiter drops his plates with a loud clatter. All the waiters and waitresses turn to stare, and Liam giggles guiltily. "Whoops?"

"We're giving that poor man a coronary," says Harry, not moving his mouth away from hers. It's funnier this way. "He's a fan. He's probably got a poster of Zayn and you in bikinis up on his wall."

Liam bites Harry's lower lip for a moment. "I think maybe he's got a poster of you and Louis," she whispers. "And that's why he's so surprised."

Harry laughs and pinches her under the table, and she squeaks and bats at his hand. He's glad they aren't just pretending to be on a date. It's hard looking like they're having a good time when it's been such a rough morning, and it's nice he doesn't have to fake how much he likes being with Liam.

"Really, Harry," says Liam. "Thank you."

Harry shrugs. Liam's so _sincere_ it's painful. Sometimes it's gorgeous and disarming and sexy, and other times it just makes him a bit embarrassed. Harry believes in having a good cry when one is called for, or a cuddle when it's needed. But Liam means everything she says, and it makes it so easy for her to end up hurt.

"If Heathrow is awful, we'll just do it together," says Harry. 

Liam nods and puts her shoulders back. It makes her look a thousand percent more like herself. "I'm setting an example to the fans that you shouldn't be embarrassed when someone does something awful to you."

Harry wishes Liam felt okay about herself, that she knew she hadn't done anything to caused this, or to deserve any of the blame for it. But Liam can be a bit old-fashioned. He'll just have to keep reminding her. And in the meantime, at least she's found a way to deal with it. 

—

Heathrow is a nightmare. Paul's brought extra security, but they still end up walking out into a crowd of fans and photographers screaming at them from behind a ring of security men. They both wear sunglasses and Liam's got a jumper and then a heavy jacket over it, collar up. Harry holds her hand.

Harry would just keep walking as quickly as possible but Liam always stops and smiles and signs things and he can feel her wavering between horror at being shouted at and wanting to please everyone.

"You don't have to," Harry shouts in her ear, but Liam shakes her head. Harry doesn't know what that means until Liam pushes her sunglasses up on her head and waves and tries to go over to sign things and pose for fans.

The screaming and the flashes of the cameras goes crazy. Harry can't tell what they're yelling — are they upset or are they supportive? It all sounds like a maelstrom of noise. Security doesn't let Liam get very close, but she keeps waving, even when Harry puts his hands on her hips and pulls her away. 

He doesn't miss how the screaming gets louder when he touches her. He puts his hand on her waist protectively, because there are tears in her eyes and a little wobble to her smile. "They love you," says Harry. He's not sure she can hear him, but she moves in closer and gives him a tiny smile. Then they're pulled into a van and security closes the door and Harry pulls Liam into his lap so he can cuddle her. 

It had never occurred to Harry how easy everything has been with Liam this entire time until suddenly it's difficult. Liam's always happy and accommodating and Harry's never had to try to have a good time with her. And it hasn't prepared him at all for how to cheer her up when she's so sad and upset.

The ride feels longer than usual, maybe because Liam doesn't say a word. Harry fiddles with his phone for a while, telling Gemma that everything's fine and he'll call their mum later and explain what's going on. Harry hasn't lied to them, but he hasn't mentioned Liam, either. Liam stays curled up against him.

Harry is just thinking he should call Louis, because no one is as good at cheering Liam up as Louis is, when they get to his flat and Louis and Zayn and Niall have already helped themselves to Harry's living room. Harry can't decide if he's relieved or slightly annoyed that they knew he'd need their help. 

"Liam," says Zayn, and steals Liam into a hug immediately. They vanish into Harry's bedroom and close the door.

"Girl things," says Louis, waving a hand. "Apparently we can't possibly understand what's really going on right now. I pointed out that time Niall got caught 'violently masturbating' in Japan, but Zayn says it's not the same." 

"I'll show 'em violently masturbating," says Niall, and mimes jerking himself off with one eye shut, sneering like a pirate.

"Later, maybe," says Harry.

"Are you okay?" Louis asks. Sometimes Harry forgets what a mother hen Louis can be. He looks so serious, like Harry might have been the one crying the whole way home. "I've got Grimmy on twitter laughing at people who didn't notice the two of you before this. He's great." It looks like it pains Louis just a tiny bit to say that.

Harry shrugs. "Doesn't matter if I'm okay, does it?" he says philosophically. "What's Zayn doing in there?"

"Pillow fights in their knickers, I reckon," says Niall. "Let's order food."

"Niall's not taking this seriously," says Louis disapprovingly.

Niall has rifled through Harry's cabinets and found a packet of crisps. Actually, he probably squirreled it away himself last time he was by. "If I find the pap who took those shots, I'm gonna break his fucking nose," says Niall. "But in the meantime, we can't do shit about it except look like it doesn't bother us, right? So. Food?"

"You're okay?" Louis repeats, taking Harry's hand. He gives Harry a hug, and Harry appreciates it. It would be so nice to hand all of this over to Louis. He's better at worrying about people than Harry is. 

But if Harry's going to be any sort of decent boyfriend, he can't leave this to Louis and Zayn. "I'm fine," he says. "Liam, though. She wanted to stop to sign autographs but she also cried over it. Is that, like, a girl thing, do we think?"

"It's a Liam thing," says Louis. "Sounds like her, at least."

"I'm ordering food!" Niall yells, getting out his phone.

Louis steps back like he's done hugging, and Harry pulls him back in. Louis is an excellent hugger and Harry depends on him for it. "Should I go and check on Liam and Zayn?"

"Give them a while," says Louis. "Who knows what girls get up to. If you interrupt Zayn, she'll rip your balls off."

Harry laughs a little. "Food sounds good, then. Niall, get me a lot of something. Have I got booze stashed around here?" Honestly, Harry isn't home enough to keep track of what's in his flat. 

"We brought loads," says Louis. "Start you off with a beer?"

"Please," says Harry politely, and puts his phone in his pocket so he won't be tempted to text Liam a million times when she's just in the next room.

Louis settles on the sofa with a beer and his arm around Harry, and tells him everything he's apparently missed. Everyone who works for them is furious, and there's been loads of finger pointing and blaming and shouting about what should have been done. They've missed a whole day of meetings and phone conferences and worry, and Louis does impressions of their manager and their security and everyone else who's been shouting all day. He makes it funny, but it's clear the day has been wretchedly difficult for everyone.

Food shows up at about the same time Zayn and Liam come out. Liam's been crying, and Zayn has, too. "I need a cigarette," says Zayn. She kisses Liam's cheek. "If you're okay for a few minutes?"

"I can manage on my own," says Liam with a watery smile. 

"Never," snorts Zayn, as she lets herself out.

Liam hesitates for a moment, so Harry holds his arms out. "Food and beer," says Harry. "Told you I was a great boyfriend."

She laughs and comes over to sit on his lap, but Louis doesn't move over, and she ends up a bit on both of them. "I'm sorry I've ruined everyone's day," Liam says. Louis doesn't reply, he just tickles her, and she laughs and slaps at him and Harry nearly gets kneed in the balls. He doesn't mind, though, because Liam looks happy.

"We aren't going to talk about it in interviews," says Harry. "Not ever."

"We said we wouldn't do any interviews with anyone who tried to bring it up," says Louis. "Turns out we can't do that, but we can _say_ we're doing it."

"I think we shouldn't talk about us, either," says Harry. "Just smile at each other and shrug and have Louis pretend he's being sick. Yeah? Because we weren't going to talk about it before this, and we shouldn't let this change stuff."

Louis nods worriedly. "But are we definitely confirming that you're together? I think everyone knows you were together this weekend, but after this..."

"Would we have confirmed it otherwise?" Harry asks.

Liam shakes her head. "Everyone knows, but we don't have to _tell_ them."

Louis starts to grin. "Half of everyone will think you're not allowed to tell, and the other half'll think you're being forced to pretend. I love it. Let's drive everyone crazy."

"You drive everyone crazy anyway," says Liam, and he pokes her, and she smacks him back. Harry doesn't share very well, so he puts his arms around Liam's waist and pulls her away. It's cool that she and Louis have their special, stupid connection, but Harry's officially her whatever now. 

Zayn comes back in and demands a beer and a spot on the sofa. "You aren't gonna go on twitter, and you aren't gonna go online," she says. "No twitcams, no explanations. Nothing."

"But I always do that," Liam says. "I just... I don't know. Maybe later?"

"I'll steal your phone," Zayn threatens. "Harry, she mustn't look at twitter. It's a shithole."

"Sexy when you swear, babe," says Niall, and Zayn hits him with a pillow.

"Liam and Harry is trending," says Louis. "Let's not talk about any of the other trends."

Liam shakes her head. "I'm sorry this is such a pain for everyone, honestly, I would never have gone away for this weekend. If I'd known, I mean."

"Hey," Harry objects. "This was on my list. You have to do stuff on my list."

Niall pretends to gag. "Are you two still doing sex lists? That's weird. It's so weird."

"Well, we _were_ ," Harry pouts.

Liam says brightly, "We were just about to get to the spanking, Louis, good suggestion."

Niall chokes on his beer and Zayn makes a truly epic disgusted face. "I knew he'd like it," says Louis, waggling his eyebrows around.

"We didn't try it yet, but he was _awfully_ interested," says Liam. 

"Heyyyyyy," Harry says again. Everyone looks at him. No one looks even remotely inclined to believe he wouldn't like being spanked, and... Maybe that says something about his band, or their relationship, or maybe Harry shares too much when he answers questions. He just likes to be honest. And to get spanked a bit, is that so wrong?

Liam giggles. "We did all the things on my list, so it's whatever Harry wants now, I'm afraid."

"Not everything on your list," Harry objects. "We haven't had sex outdoors. This wasn't a suitable holiday for it."

"We sort of did," says Liam, but her smile flickers because that didn't end so well.

"Sex on the beach," says Harry. "Oooh, I know. We'll rent a yacht and have sex on the deck. Avoid getting sand in all our bits."

"Should I be sitting on this sofa right now?" Zayn asks loudly. "Or is it covered in unspeakable fluids?"

Liam's back to laughing. "I make him clean it."

That's enough to prompt Zayn and Niall to jump up off the sofa and swear loudly. Louis just laughs. Liam giggles the way she does when she's been naughty. 

"For the record, we've had sex everywhere in this flat," says Harry, because he's a bit proud of himself. 

"Disgusting," says Niall. "As soon as I'm done eating this food I'm going home."

Liam leans back against Harry. The whole band does this, they cuddle when things are a bit rough or lonely, so that isn't strange, but the way Harry gets a bit of a flutter in his chest is. He'd pretty much die for any of the people in the room, but he's got all these overwhelming feelings about Liam, and keeping her safe, and making her happy. It's all new and different and exhausting.

Liam yawns. "Tired?" Harry asks quietly. It's hard to believe it's all happened since this morning. Liam nods. "Go and sleep in my bed," Harry offers. 

Liam goes a bit still. They don't sleep over very often. They fuck around a lot, and they cuddle, and they fool around when the band stays in hotels and on the bus, but they don't really stay over at each other's flats in case someone's taking pictures. 

"Oh, I... Are you sure?" Liam asks. She turns and looks at him with her big brown eyes and Harry feels weirdly warm all over.

"I'm sure," says Harry. His hand has moved itself from her waist to her thigh and Harry squeezes reassuringly. She smiles and ducks her head, cheeks a little pink. Then she yawns again. Liam kisses his cheek and hops off his lap, and hugs everyone goodnight before she shuts herself in his bedroom.

"Are you two gonna be okay?" Louis asks. He's got his worried face on; it's very silly.

"Yeah, she's just going to get some sleep," says Harry.

"No... Are you two gonna be okay?" Louis repeats, tipping his head to the side.

Zayn interrupts, "He means, are you gonna break up and ruin the band?"

Harry stares at them. "No. Of course not."

"Just keep in mind, Harry," says Zayn, with a threatening finger point. "She feels vulnerable and sad and if you do anything to make her sadder, I'll kill you. Hands to yourself tonight; she just got violated by the whole world." 

"I wouldn't," says Harry, wounded, but it's probably a good thing Zayn said something because Harry's idea of comfort runs more toward "Don't worry; I still like you" sex. 

"Let's leave 'em alone, tomorrow we'll still be dealing with all this shit," says Niall. "What the fuck, taking dirty pictures. Can't stomach it. Won't deal with it."

Harry hugs all of them goodnight and tells Louis to stop worrying at least four more times before everyone leaves. It's so quiet in his flat. He just isn't home alone much; it's easier to sleep at Louis's, or at Nick's. 

But he isn't home alone. Harry kicks off his trainers and goes into the bedroom. It's dark and Liam's a lump under the duvet. She might already be asleep, but Harry suspects she isn't. He takes off his clothes except his pants, keeping in mind what Zayn said, and crawls under the duvet.

It takes him a minute to find Liam, who's curled up in a ball. She's wearing one of Harry's t-shirts and her knickers, knees up under her chin. Harry has been working on getting her to sleep naked the last few months, but he doesn't say anything, and he doesn't try to cuddle in to her space like he usually would.

"Sorry, I'm not much fun tonight," says Liam, as if she can read his mind.

"We can just sleep," says Harry. "I'm knackered."

She sighs. "But this whole thing is supposed to be about sex. Remember? It's easy, because we're always available. You offered to help me try sex things out, not to hold my hand while I cry all night. I've broken our deal."

Never mind; Harry cuddles into her space after all, pulling her head onto his chest and putting his arms around her shoulder. She tenses for a minute and then relaxes again against him.

"Do you think I wouldn't cuddle all night with Zayn, or Louis, or Niall, if one of them was having a shit day?" Harry asks. 

"I suppose," says Liam.

"Do you think I like having sex better than I like you?"

"Dunno."

Harry makes a frustrated little noise, and she giggles. "Liam Payne, I fancy you. I thought we went through this. I like having sex with you as a side effect of fancying you. But if you decided we were going to stop having sex, I'd stick around for... Oh, a week at least."

"A _week_?" Liam asks, sounding slightly offended.

"I'm a teenage boy, Liam. I can't wait _forever_."

She giggles and uncurls slightly, slipping one of her long, bare legs between his. Harry's dick is immediately interested in the proceedings. Whoops.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just don't think I can tonight. I don't feel sexy at all. I feel... I feel naked, but in the bad way."

Harry nods as if he understands a bad way to be naked. "Don't worry about it. I've still got the prettiest person in the band in my bed. Don't tell Louis I said that."

She laughs. "Oh, Harry. You really are sort of wonderful, do you know that?"

"I know," says Harry, and wraps his arms a little bit tighter around her and waits for her to fall asleep.

—

Harry wakes up to Liam snoring quietly and still pressed up against his chest. His arm is numb underneath her but he doesn't want to move in case he wakes her up. It's still dark but she looks pale and tired as if it were the end of a tour instead of a holiday for them.

Eventually Harry needs to use the toilet more than he needs to let Liam sleep, and even though he does his best to move quietly, she still blinks herself awake and smiles at him. Never mind Zayn's threats, Harry leans down and kisses her softly before he rolls out of bed.

When he gets back, she's looking at her phone, a bit sad around the edges. Harry clears his throat and she shuts it off hastily and shoves it under the pillow. "Don’t look at that," says Harry.

"I need to know what everyone's saying," says Liam. Harry climbs into bed and kneels on top of her, knees bracketing her hips and hands by her shoulders. He leans down and nudges her nose with his own. Liam giggles. 

"All you need to know is what your family and friends say, and we love you, so never mind about the rest," Harry says. He has no intention of really doing anything, he thinks Zayn was probably right, but kissing is the best way he knows to get Liam to stop worrying about things. "Right?"

"Well, but—" Liam says. Harry kisses her, just a light press of his lips against hers. She smiles and it gets all the way to her eyes, which he likes. He kisses her again. She opens her mouth so he kisses her properly, lazily winding their tongues together, sucking on her adorable lower lip. She makes a happy, breathy little noise and puts her hands on Harry's shoulders, pulling him down.

Harry tells himself firmly that it can't go anywhere, and that it's just for comfort; it's just to make Liam smile. He keeps his hips up so he won't start rubbing off against her by accident; that's not very gentlemanly. He can't help that just kissing her gets him hard, though.

His hand roams down her side and a sexy giggle turns into a wincing, "ow." Harry freezes. "Y'alright?" he asks, voice rough.

"I got bruises snowboarding," says Liam, wiggling around to look. "Ow, damn."

Harry sits back on his heels. "Should I stop?"

"No," says Liam, reaching for him again. 

"You feel sexy again?" asks Harry hopefully.

Liam shakes her head, but she's biting her lip and trying to stifle a giggle. "Maybe?" she says. "I like the way you look at me."

Harry's heart pounds in his ears a couple of times. "Yeah? I like looking at you. I like it when you wear my t-shirt."

"Nothing's sexier than clothes I found on the floor," says Liam, laughing at him. Harry kisses her again. He likes the way her laugh tastes, he likes the softness of her breasts rubbing against him, he likes the way she lets her legs fall open so he can fit between them. He wonders if there's a way to have sex that's so good she'll forget to be upset about what happened yesterday. Probably not. He can try, though.

Harry kisses Liam until she digs her fingers into his hips and tries to pull him in closer. And even then, he keeps kissing her, pressing her down, rocking his hips gently, slowing every touch so that it's lazy and affectionate instead of rushed and frantic like they usually are. Harry keeps his touches light and his kisses deep and waits until Liam starts to groan a little, pushing her leg up between his. The sun is rising behind Harry's curtains and they'll have to get up and face the world soon. He doesn't want to.

"We don't have to do anything else," Harry whispers. His dick feels so heavy and ready to go that he's a little dizzy with it, but he can go and wank in the bathroom if he has to. Or in bed with Liam, if she doesn't mind. 

"I like that you still want me," says Liam, quietly. Her cheeks turn pink as she says it. 

"Jesus, Liam," says Harry. "You're the only one who thinks you've been spoiled by this." He rolls onto his side and pulls Liam along with him, and then on top. The duvet falls off to the side of the bed. "If you want this, go ahead. But I always want you."

Liam pushes her hair back out of her face. She sits up, her hips on top of his, and the warmth of her, the way they fit together, makes him crazy. Harry bites his lip and breathes harshly through his nose. Liam gives him a long, serious look, and then a little smile, and reaches to pull his pants down. Harry lifts his hips to help, trying to kick his underwear off without making Liam move. She's still wearing her knickers, though; they feel satiny, but at the moment they're agony where they rub against his cock. It's hard and red against his stomach and he wants her to touch it, for god's sake, but he grits his teeth and doesn't say anything.

Instead, she runs her fingers up his leg and then brushes along his dick lightly and _doesn't_ really touch it, and Harry groans in a way he can't stifle. "I'm not even very good at being naughty," says Liam, a bit regretfully. Harry puts his hands on her thighs and squeezes, careful not to touch any of the bruises.

"You're killing me, Payne," he says.

She giggles and he can't help arching his hips up a little at that. "Condom," she says.

"Under the pillow," Harry manages. She has to lean over to reach one under the headboard, which means she's all pressed against him and he's naked and it's torture. Liam hums to herself a little as she rips the foil. It's a good noise, although it's painful to wait while she rolls the condom out. He clenches his hands in the sheets and lets her do it, looking up at him from under her lashes, taking her time. 

"Okay," says Liam. She moves off him and rolls onto her side. Liam looks him right in the eye as she hooks her fingers into the sides of her knickers and slides them down her thighs. Harry shivers all over. Liam kicks her underwear off and smiles at him. "I want to, but I don't see why I should have to do all the work." 

Harry growls and bites at her chin when she laughs. He nudges her leg over to the side with his knee and presses up between her legs. Harry puts his arm around her to drag her in closer – the fabric of his t-shirt is driving him mad – and uses his other hand to guide himself in. He's still trying to keep it gentle and romantic but he's desperate to be inside her. He presses in carefully and she cants her hips, to help. Harry slides in with a grunt; she isn't as wet as when he gets her off first, he should have thought of that, he should have used lube, he should have—

"Come on," says Liam quietly. "Fuck me, then." 

Harry groans again, desperately, trying not to just thrust in. He moves his hand so his thumb is pressing against her clit, rubbing circles as he lets himself jerk his hips forward and push all the way in. 

Liam gasps a little, and winds her arms around his neck. She pulls him into a kiss and it's almost more than he can handle; he can't kiss her and use his fingers on her and keep a rhythm with his hips, all at once. He tries for slow and steady, something that will let them move together. He wraps his leg around hers and pulls her in closer, sinks his teeth into his lip a little bit. She groans encouragingly against his mouth. They're as pressed together as they could possibly be; her arms keeping him close, his arm and his legs wrapped around her. She's so warm, and soft, and giving. It's not fast enough for Harry to come, but he also can't wait. His brain is full of static and white noise and desperate want. His hips speed up and it shocks a little noise out of Liam, something breathless and pleased. All of Harry's good intentions melt away and he lets his hips slam into her harder than he'd intended, over and over until he can't even warn her that he's nearly there. He shouts and presses his fingers into her sides and his whole body goes hot and white and melted all over, and he curls into her, panting for air.

Liam giggles a little. It feels so weird when he's still inside her. "That was fun," says Liam sincerely, and kisses his cheek. It's almost a thank you, and that's too strange to think about, too.

Harry closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths. His body wants to go boneless and relaxed, but he won't allow it. He groans as he pulls out and his hands shake a little as he rolls the condom off and tosses it away. "Hang on," he says, fighting to make his hands move like he wants them to. "We aren't finished."

"Aww," says Liam. "Harry, it's fine."

"Shh," he says. His heart is hammering and he just wants to go to sleep, but he's a better man than that. Or, he can be. He crawls unsteadily down the bed. "This was meant to be about you."

"I don't want anything else to be about me," says Liam, shaking her head. Harry can't stand it; he kisses his way up the inside of her thigh. He likes the way she tastes so much that it helps him wake up a little. "Ohhhh," says Liam, rolling properly on to her back so Harry can push her legs apart. He loves how much she loves having sex. If those bastard photographers have ruined it for her he's going to track them down and kill them. He runs his hand up the back of her thigh, pushing her leg up, so he can get his mouth where she likes it best, using his tongue the way she likes it, pressing in hard, holding her leg up and trying to keep his hands away from the bruises she got on holiday.

Liam's hips jerk up. Harry uses his free hand to press a finger inside, crooking it up so that he's got her on the inside and the outside, and her breath stutters and turns into a gasp as she tightens and then starts pulsing around his fingers. Harry pushes his tongue in one more time because he just likes the way she moans, and then he pulls back. Liam's tipped her head back, hair wild and sweaty around her face. His t-shirt is pulled up and twisted under her arms. 

Harry's proud of himself for wrecking her so thoroughly. If she's thinking about anything at the moment, it isn't the scandal of yesterday, and Harry's feeling smug about that. 

He collapses next to her on the bed, too tired to do anything else, too worked up to fall back to sleep. Given enough time, he could certainly do it again, but he's not sure that's what Liam wants. "That wasn't weird, right?" Harry says, trailing a finger up her side.

She shivers and pulls his shirt down, which is a shame. "No weirder than any other time, I suppose," she says.

"Heyyyy," Harry objects, snuggling in to her side. She giggles. "Really, though. Was that cool? I can't keep my hands off you. Sorry. Don't tell Zayn. She'll be angry."

"I've been sleeping with you for months and _now_ she's angry?" Liam says. 

"Because, like... You know, with the stuff going on."

Liam laughs at him. "You're so eloquent, Harry."

"Who taught you that word? Was it Louis? Was it just to take the piss out of me?"

"Yes and yes," says Liam. She yawns and stretches and Harry loses his breath a little because she's so perfect, every inch of her. "We've got press to get up for, the car'll be here soon and I need to shower." She leans over and kisses him briskly, like they've been married a hundred years and she's off to do errands for the day. Perfunctory. Harry doesn't like that, and he tries to grab her, but she's faster than he is: up and out of bed before he can stop her. 

"You sat in the bath for an hour yesterday," Harry pouts.

"Girls like to smell good," says Liam. "You'll like me better when I smell better."

"I like it when you smell like me. Like sex," Harry grumbles. She vanishes into his bathroom. That probably means she expects him to shower, too, and to put on clothes he wasn't wearing all weekend. Unreasonable, Harry thinks. He can just wear a beanie and an old jumper and it'll be fine, no one ever notices.

Liam does whatever magical things girls do in the bathroom and comes out looking amazing, as if she didn't spend the last twenty-four hours mostly crying. She pulls on one of Harry's jumpers. "The fans'll notice straight away," she says. "It's like a secret message."

"It's hot," says Harry, but she won't come back to bed so he takes a shower and has a wank thinking about taking that jumper right back off her. 

Liam is scrolling through her phone again when Harry gets dressed, manfully resisting the urge to put the same dirty t-shirt he wore all weekend back on. Lou would have a fit. "Stop it," says Harry. "Stop looking at that."

Liam shrugs. "It's a load of bollocks about whether we're faking, and what I was really up to this weekend. Apparently you're helping me cover up a drug-fueled orgy. I never get invited to drug-fueled orgies, really. Am I doing something wrong?"

"Why would you look at that?" Harry asks.

"This person called Slut Direction keeps tweeting me," says Liam. "Apparently he knew I was dirty all along."

Harry takes the phone out of her hands and blocks whatever arsehole that is. "You aren't going to let them get to you like this," he says firmly. "Remember that hypothetical girl you're representing. Remember that you're better than those slimy bastards."

"Yeah," says Liam. "Right, yeah." She takes a deep breath and puts her phone in her purse. She gives Harry a bit of a smile. It's still shaky around the edges but she looks better than yesterday. "Car's here."

Harry offers her his arm, and she laughs and threads hers through his. They're holding hands when they get outside, and even though Harry's got a gate around his flat and security are stood by the car, there are screaming fans and a few photographers lurking out on the pavement. Liam starts to wave so Harry catches both of her hands. He doesn't need to encourage them to stalk the band, really. 

"Well, I suppose everyone's going to know I slept here," says Liam.

"I sleep over at Nick's all the time," Harry points out. 

"Yeah, but I actually did _just sleep_ here," Liam says. He gives her a hand up into the car and there's a bit of a surge in screams. It's odd being in a band where every time anyone touches anyone it's a big deal. At least they're finally shouting about something real, Harry thinks. He'll have to be extra affectionate with Louis, just to annoy everyone. 

When they get to the studio, Liam is immediately whisked away by Lou and Zayn and all the other women who work for them, to some sort of secret girls' conference. Harry doesn't see her again for hours. He and Niall do a phone interview, and then Harry and Louis sneak off to try on some of the stupider clothes they find in the cupboard and take pictures for Instagram. "Stop fretting; she's fine," says Louis, which is hilarious because he spends more time than Harry does looking over his shoulder as if Liam will magically reappear.

They get Liam and Zayn back in time for lunch. They've got press to do, and apparently Liam's been off memorizing what she is and isn't allowed to say. "I mustn't tell them to fuck off, that's only for Louis," she says. She seems to find it amusing. "And everyone's been told they can't ask about this weekend, but if they do I'm supposed to change the subject."

"If they do, I'll punch 'em in the face," says Niall cheerfully. "That'll be a good headline."

"We also aren't going to sit next to each other, though," says Liam apologetically to Harry. 

"That's probably fair," Harry says. "Seeing as I can't keep my hands off you, remember?"

She giggles and shakes her head as if he's joking. Harry backs her up into the wall and kisses her, hard, because he's not, and now that it's not secret, he can do this anywhere he likes. Zayn clears her throat loudly. "Right, Harry, we get it. Feeling a bit territorial, are we?"

Lou put loads of makeup on Liam, so she looked all cute and done up and perfect, and now she's flushed again and her hair's come a bit undone. "Yes," says Harry. 

"Bite Niall instead," says Zayn. Niall objects loudly and he and Zayn get in a bit of a slap-fight. 

They're all nervous to do interviews, the way they haven't been in ages. Liam sits in the back in the middle, with Louis and Zayn on either side, leaning in. Zayn fusses with Liam's hair most of the first interview, and it's a nice distraction for both of them. Louis goes mad trying to be funny and loud and no one else gets a chance to say much of anything, because Louis insists on shouting and making animal noises. They get a bit of an exasperated look from the press coordinator, but this is what they're supposed to do, actually, so they ignore him. The second interview is derailed by Harry and Niall playing rock, paper, scissors over who's going to have to do press ups, and the third interview is derailed when Louis reaches over Liam to mess up Zayn's hair. That's the end of anything except shouting and trying to hit each other for a while. Louis and Zayn have an all-out shoving war, while Niall giggles at them, and Harry twists around to give Liam an _is everything okay?_ look. Liam ducks out of the way of Zayn's elbow and nods at him, and he grins back at her. 

If this interview eventually gets put online, that'll be the moment that goes on Tumblr.

They get a break for tea. "Did you know, Kate's people really did send a note," says Liam wonderingly. "They said to keep my chin up, and that they're going to see the laws are enforced about this sort of thing. I'm sure it wasn't actually Kate, but... Isn't that nice?"

"Sugarscape is calling you Princess Liam," says Zayn, checking her phone. "And Prince Harry, obviously. They've got pictures of the two of you this morning. And then a load of 'Should We Have Known?' pictures of you two smiling at each other." 

"Well, they should have," says Harry, reaching for Liam's hand. He can do that now, despite all the people walking around, and how often people take snaps of them. He likes being able to do that. 

"Princess Liam," Niall laughs. "I'll buy you a tiara at the fancy dress store."

"Yes, please," says Liam primly. "And Louis can be my court jester."

"Hey!" says Louis, but it's true, so they just laugh and pat his shoulder consolingly.

—

Harry feels like it's a good day; no one's made Liam cry. She's been fine, actually, since the band hasn't left her alone for a minute. 

It turns out to be an illusion. Liam is pulled out into a meeting and doesn't come back for a suspiciously long time, so Harry goes to find her. She's stood in the hallway, with one of the PR women. It's an older lady with severe make up and a disapproving face, and Harry thinks immediately of Dolores Umbridge. 

"It isn't good for the band, though, is it Liam?" she says, and Liam shakes her head no. She's looking at her trainers. "In America they take this sort of thing seriously. Most of the band's audience is the under twelves. And if you set this sort of example, the mums in America will go and protest against the music. You aren't meant to be a sexy, racy group, you're pop for children, and it's inappropriate. I'm surprised at you, Liam, honestly. Everyone is disappointed."

Harry hasn't got a lot of experience in being angry; his life tends to go really well, and he knows how lucky he is. It keeps him generally happy about things. But he's really, really furious even before he sees the tremble in Liam's mouth.

"Hey," says Harry, slipping up behind Liam. He tries to take her hand but she shakes her head and pulls her hand away. That makes Harry even angrier, somehow.

"I suppose I should expect it from Harry, he's a boy, he can't help himself," says the lady, who Harry is going to see sacked and then burnt at the stake. "A girl has to protect herself, Liam. She has to make sure no one gets the wrong idea."

Harry wishes Louis were there; he'd rip this woman to shreds with an, "Are you _quite_ finished?" and a nasty stare. 

The most Harry can manage is to lean over and say, "She's full of shit, Liam," quietly. 

"No, I've disappointed — I've let down everyone—" Liam says, turning to him. Her eyes are full of tears. She rubs at them for a moment. "Fuck, I was trying not to ruin my makeup, Lou'll be so cross." 

"Well, there's no need to overreact," says the woman. 

Harry steps between them. He's never told anyone to fuck off, not to their face, but he's tempted. He puts his hand on Liam's chin instead, tilting her head up. "Lou'll understand that you were yelled at by some awful old bat," he says, and kisses her when she makes a shocked face. 

"Harry, I shouldn't have," says Liam against his mouth. Harry puts his other hand on his waist and pulls her in for a harder, more determined kiss. "What if I ruined—"

"Shh," says Harry firmly. He kisses her because he doesn't know what else to do, and because, after a minute, some of the tension goes out of her shoulders and he can feel her finally start to breathe again. 

"This is inappropriate as well," starts the woman, and that's when Louis and Zayn show up.

"How is kissing your girlfriend inappropriate?" Louis demands.

Zayn has some sort of magic power, because she immediately says, "Louis, Liam's been crying."

"I haven't," says Liam, but then she sniffles a little and hides her face against Harry's shoulder.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" says Louis. "If you're part of our team, you have no business upsetting one of us, that's not your job. Our mums'll be our mums, cheers."

"It was all very inappropriate and a bad example—" the woman starts.

"Inappropriate is making her cry when we've got to have our pictures taken. That's money and time you're costing us," Zayn says.

Louis is already waving his arms and shouting for someone to come and take this woman away, throwing such a fit that people up and down the hall stop and turn around to look. Zayn joins in, until other PR people show up to break up the mob before it can really get started. Louis won't stop yelling or be calmed down until the woman is taken away and he can get their manager and complain.

"He's so awful," Liam whispers admiringly. 

"I'm sorry I'm not more awful," says Harry, arms around her waist.

She giggles into his neck. "I like you anyway."

"We aren't doing anything else today, we're traumatized, you can't upset Liam without upsetting all of us!" Louis shouts. 

The band ends up getting a break and all the tea and sweets and snacks they are normally told they can't have. Niall's pleased, but somehow fuming at the same time. They all are; Zayn's got a fizzy drink and a scowl. Harry tries to get Liam to sit on his lap, but she paces back and forth while Louis sprawls on Harry on the sofa instead.

"She _said_ that?" Niall demands, stuffing Haribo into his mouth. "Unbelievable."

"It's true, though, she's right!" Liam says. "I don't want to screw this up for us. I hate disappointing anyone—"

Niall throws himself at Liam, half hugging and half strangling her. "Shut your fucking mouth," he says. 

"People are going to talk a lot of shit," says Zayn. "But we don't listen, because we don't care."

"Harry is a terrible boyfriend, and he oughtn't to have left Liam alone like that," says Louis, and gives Harry a disapproving pinch. Harry smacks Louis's hand, but Louis has a point. 

Zayn sniffs disapprovingly. "I wouldn't leave Liam alone, if she were _my_ girlfriend."

"Lucky for me you've got Perrie, then, eh?" says Harry. Zayn sticks her tongue out at him. 

"I don't need to be babysat," says Liam, somewhere underneath Niall. No one responds because it's a silly thing to say, and anyway Harry and Louis are engaged in some serious tickle warfare. Louis is a cheater, obviously, and Harry escapes from him by rolling onto the floor and then wiggling away.

"Hey, give me Liam back," he says to Niall, who reluctantly lets go of Liam's neck.

"Only if you do a better job of looking after her," says Niall.

"I don't — I'm not — You don't have to—" starts Liam, and then inexplicably bursts into tears. Harry has literally no idea what she's upset about, unless it's them joking about keeping track of her, but since she turns around and throws her arms around Harry's neck and cries into his shoulder, he doesn't think that's it.

"Uhhhhh," says Harry, looking to Zayn for help. Zayn shrugs and tosses her Pepsi bottle at Louis's head. Harry rubs his hand in circles on Liam's back, in case that helps. She's really weird sometimes, is the thing. 

Liam is crying really hard, he can feel her shaking all over, and she's getting his t-shirt wet. She says _something_ to his chest, but to Harry it all sounds a bit of a mess and he couldn't really begin to guess.

"Don't be ridiculous," says Louis, who apparently speaks hysterical Liam.

She looks up at him, and her eye makeup is actually ruined this time; Lou is going to have a heart attack. "But you've all just been so _nice_ ," she says. "Even though—"

"If you say you don't deserve it, I'll yell at you myself," says Louis. He gives Harry a look and, for once, Harry isn't sure what it means. After a moment he realizes it's just Louis's version of _She's your girlfriend; you fix this._ But Louis seems to understand Liam, when sometimes Harry can't make out what on earth she's on about.

"Will someone ask if we can go home?" Harry says. "It's been such a long day. I just want to go home." 

"On it," says Zayn.

They can't leave straight away, there's another press blurb to do, but Harry and Liam are excused because Liam can't stop crying and Harry won't let her be taken away again. Liam sits on Harry's lap and cries against his shoulder while Zayn and Louis and Niall shout things at reporters in the next room. That weird feeling is back in Harry's chest, like he'd like to protect her and look after her and be responsible for her. These feelings are so weird for him; Harry hasn't even got a dog, like Zayn has, because he thought he couldn't possibly look after it. And now he's got Liam, who is an actual, complicated human being, and he wants so badly to do a better job at being her boyfriend, but he doesn't know how. Or why, really.

Eventually they get to leave, but people from PR tell them there'll be fans and photographers outside. "They want shots of you two together, and we might as well give them some," is the final decision. "If you give them a few, maybe they'll leave you alone a bit more." 

Harry doesn't think anyone's going to leave them alone for a few days at least, so he doesn't say anything. It's not as if he was going to leave Liam to face the cameras on her own. Zayn and Niall and Louis slip out one way and Harry and Liam go the other, into the lion's den as it were. They hold hands as they walk out, and when the screaming starts, Harry puts his arm around her waist. Liam looks like she's been crying, which the PR people actually like; they told Lou not to fix her makeup before they left. "Sympathy," everyone said, and Harry realized he wasn't nearly cynical enough.

"Come back to mine," says Harry, mouth over Liam's ear so she can hear. She nods and presses closer to him, and his chest feels tight, and then hot all over.

It's _weird_. Someone needs to explain to Harry how he feels; it's choking him, and he doesn't know what to do with it. "I'm going to go and sign things," says Liam. 

"But what if—"

"Our fans are good people," says Liam determinedly. "Most of them, anyway. I can't just hide because it's hard."

"Of course you can," says Harry, but she pulls away and puts on her brave face and goes over. There's a scream from the fans and the photographers go a bit crazy. Security follows right behind her but Liam waves them off. She signs papers and poses for camera phones, and Harry follows, posing for some of the other people so he can keep an eye on her. 

She's right; most of the fans are saying, "We love you, Liam," and "How dare they take pictures like that?" and a few of the girls are crying. It's more overwhelming than usual, because everyone's so emotional.

"Right, that's enough," says Paul, and pulls at Liam and Harry to go back to the van. 

"Thanks," says Liam to the fans. Her smile is watery but it's sincere. "Okay, let's go back to yours."

Harry's never heard anything he wants more in the world. 

—

It's not like Liam's moving in, unless maybe Liam's moving in. Harry would sort of like her to stay as many nights as possible. He tells her to make herself at home, and then hides her phone, because she keeps trying to look at what people are saying. 

"I want to cook a nice dinner but there's no food," Harry grumbles.

"Well, go and get some," says Liam. "I'm going to take a bath."

"You took a bath this morning. What if you dissolve while I'm gone? What if you melt away entirely?"

She just laughs at him and goes into the bathroom.

Girls are very strange, Harry thinks. He puts on the beanie that covers his hair the most and goes out. It's late and there's a mist of rain, so there aren't many people standing by the gate, and he can sneak out to Tesco and pick up the ingredients to make a pizza. He wants a bottle of wine, too, and if she's still in the bath, maybe he'll just join her with a couple of glasses and climb in as well. 

A girl recognizes him while he's buying mozzarella, and he agrees easily to pose for a picture with her. She doesn't say much except, "Oh god, _it's you_ , my sister will die!" when he gives her a hug. But then, as he walks away, she squeaks, "Tell Liam we're on her side!" Harry turns and gives her a grin that makes her look a bit faint.

"Thanks," he says. "She'll be really chuffed to hear that."

She squeaks again and hides behind a rack of crisps, knocking half of them to the ground. Harry turns around and helps her pick them up, although she mostly just stares at him with giant eyes. Her hands are shaking a bit. It'll never not be funny to him. Not in a mean way, but it's just... so absurd.

He buys everything he needs and also Ribena and the prawn cocktail crisps that Liam eats sometimes. She's not much for comfort food; she usually goes to the gym to run when she's upset. But everyone likes Ribena when they're feeling a bit down. Harry wants to get her all the things that make her smile. He thinks for a second of swinging by a pet shop for a puppy — that would _really_ cheer her up — but it's not the sort of thing he should do on a whim. He can hear his mum clucking her tongue at him in his head.

While he waits in the queue, Harry pulls out his phone and phones his mum. She's seen the pictures, obviously. She scolds him for getting caught out and especially for upsetting Liam, and then demands that he bring Liam home, "and not just with the lads to stay in the bungalow. I want a proper chance to fuss over your girlfriend and get to know her."

"You _know_ her, you've met Liam a million times," Harry says, rolling his eyes as he unloads his trolley. 

"Don't be absurd," says his mum. "This is all different now. Is anyone there being mean to her? It's your fault, you know."

"I love you, too," says Harry. "I have to go, Mum, the cashier needs me."

"I'll tweet Liam, then," she says, and rings off. 

When Harry checks his phone on the way home, his mum has tweeted:

_@anne42cox @real_liam_payne sweetheart when are you coming to visit us?!? we miss you terribly ♥ ♥_

People will read into that, Harry thinks smugly. His mum is the best, basically. The rain drips through his beanie into his hair and he waves politely for a pap who's followed him down the pavement. "We're staying in tonight!" Harry shouts. "Go home and get dry."  
Probably they won't believe him, but if he can spare someone a cold from standing around in the rain all night he'd like to.

Inside, Liam's curled up on the sofa with his laptop. She's wearing his jumper again but her hair is damp and curling around her face. At some point, she'll have to go home and get some of her own clothes to wear, but he wouldn't mind if she just wore his forever. She's prettier without makeup — he might just think that because this is what she looks like after they have sex — and she looks so at home in his flat. Harry's chest tries to collapse again, heavy and warm and unable to sustain itself. 

"I tidied a little," says Liam, clicking through his laptop. "Since you're being so sweet and letting me stay here and all."

Harry rolls his eyes and can't quite hide his huffy noise. "Of course you're staying here, Liam, and you don't need to tidy."

" _Someone_ needs to tidy," she teases. "I like to earn my keep."

"Liam," says Harry. He shakes his head. "You really are silly. Stay here forever, if you want. I love you."

Liam's eyes get just a fraction wider and her hands go still on the keyboard.

Harry hears what he's just said a moment after it's already out there, hanging between them in the air like a frozen breath on a cold morning. Almost visible. Easily shattered.

"I do," says Harry, as surprised as she is. He wishes he weren't standing in the door, holding bags of pizza ingredients. This would have been better over the weekend, with candles and wine and no one crying all day long. At least they didn't just have sex, so she can't possibly think it's about that, Harry thinks. At least he's managed to avoid that.

Liam sits up very straight on the sofa, looking at him as if she's never seen him before. She's frozen and staring and Harry can't tell what she thinks about it.

"I said it, I'm not taking it back," says Harry. "I've been feeling weird all day, all weekend maybe. Maybe longer than that? I love everyone in the band, so maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I love you. Properly. Jesus, can I put these stupid Tesco's bags down? I don't know how to have this conversation, not after a day like today."

"Oh, Harry," says Liam.

He drops the bags, and everything goes thunking to the floor. If he's broken the jar of sauce he won't be able to make pizza, but they'll order food. What a stupid thing to be thinking about, he chides himself. "If that was a sad little, 'Oh, Harry, you poor deluded boy,' then don't tell me, okay? I'm not taking it back anyway. We'll just rewind to before I left for dinner. I can keep my stupid feelings to myself." All that heat in his chest has turned to a crushing sensation, and he can't breathe. His ribs are caving in and his shoulders try to follow.

"No, I mean... Oh, Harry. That's _lovely._ " Liam smiles, just the edges of her mouth and her eyes. But when her eyes sparkle like that Harry knows that it's going to be fine, and they'll get through this, and this wretched photo situation, and everything else, besides. "I love you, too, I think."

"You _think_?" Harry says. He walks over so he's in front of her, and she has to tip her face up to look at him. "I pour my heart out, and you _think_ you love me?"

"You poured your heart out? 'Maybe I wasn't paying attention, but I love you.' That's not exactly roses and romance, is it?" says Liam.

"It's better than 'I think,'" Harry objects.

She starts to giggle then, shoulders shaking, and the horrible crushing weight in his chest lessens. "I haven't thought about it! You surprised me. I thought there'd be more warning. But as far as I know, right now, at this very moment, I love you."

Harry puts a hand on the armrest and leans down. She grins at him. All the warmth is back, not just in his chest but suffusing his entire body, filling him up until he could drown. "What about now?"

"Yes," says Liam, pretending to be serious. "Now, too."

He leans in closer. "And now?"

"Let me check. Yes." 

"And—" He leans in further and she pushes up and kisses him. She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down and they tip over onto the sofa, all wrapped up in each other and still kissing. "I nearly got you a puppy," says Harry, kissing his way up her neck and biting the lobe of her ear.

He can feel the excited intake of breath. "Really? I mean. That'd be so irresponsible. But oh my god, Harry, a _puppy_. We're away too much. But I really really _really_ want a puppy. But we shouldn't, so—"

Harry kisses her again, settling himself between her legs. He needs a bigger sofa. He thinks this every time they have sex there. "We should think about it," he says. "As like, a thing. Maybe after the tour, if this is still a thing. Which we'll need to check in on, since you're looking at it minute by minute, and all." 

She looks so thrilled, and he has a feeling it's nothing to do with him, it's all to do with the hypothetical puppy. When they get back from the tour, he'll have to get Louis to go puppy-shopping with him. It'll be around her birthday, which is sort of perfect. It's a terrifyingly long-term present, though, as if the two of them are really planning something serious that might last years and years. 

Which, given that they're apparently _in love_ , makes sense. 

Liam pulls him down into another kiss; slow and gentle and full of promise that makes him tingle all over. "Ask me again," she says, voice dropping a little.

"About the puppy?"

"Harry." She pinches one of his nipples disapprovingly. He has got to get her to spend less time with Louis. 

He grins at her, flipping his curls out of his eyes. "Still love me?"

Liam's smile in return is absolutely brilliant. "Right now, yes," she says. "And I think maybe always, too."


End file.
